While reading this article, please bear in mind that though it addresses women, we do not disregard the role man has to play in making marriage work.
Hi gals! This article is a response to one of the questions asked on our Facebook group, ’what do you think can make a couple be together for a long period’?
In this article we will look at three main areas; the purpose of marriage, the marriage contract and trust versus love.
In this article we will look at three main areas; the purpose of marriage, the marriage contract and trust versus love.
Purpose of MarriageLooking into the scriptures to know why God designed marriage, Gen. 2:18(NIV) ‘And the Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”’ After God made man, the first thing He did was to put him in the Garden of Eden. Here, Eden represents the presence of God because this is where God comes to commune with Adam in the cool of the evening, everyday.
Secondly, God gave Adam work. He was supposed to work the Garden of Eden according to Gen. 2:15. I submit to you that the reason for marriage is so that the woman will help the man succeed in the work that God has placed in his hands. I discovered that over time, people had been made to believe that the purpose of marriage is procreation (Gen. 1:28 ‘God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it…”’). This is not true because fruitfulness is a blessing from God that should naturally come while doing the work He has entrusted us with. This said I believe that the purpose of marriage is for work and companionship. A question that comes to mind is, ‘does your partner know the work God has committed into his hands?’, because that is what you are to help him achieve.
Secondly, God gave Adam work. He was supposed to work the Garden of Eden according to Gen. 2:15. I submit to you that the reason for marriage is so that the woman will help the man succeed in the work that God has placed in his hands. I discovered that over time, people had been made to believe that the purpose of marriage is procreation (Gen. 1:28 ‘God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it…”’). This is not true because fruitfulness is a blessing from God that should naturally come while doing the work He has entrusted us with. This said I believe that the purpose of marriage is for work and companionship. A question that comes to mind is, ‘does your partner know the work God has committed into his hands?’, because that is what you are to help him achieve.
Marriage Contract
Marriage is the only institution where a certificate is issued before you even sit for the first examination – isn’t that interesting? And guess what, the certificate does not have an expiry date. Have you ever wondered why it is mandatory for you to make a vow before marriage can be contracted? The reason is simply because if you knew who your partner really is or what his tendencies are, chances are, you won’t marry him or any other man for that matter.
Marriage certificate is given to you in advance because you are expected to make the marriage work. It’s like being paid for a job that hasn’t yet been done trusting that the contractor will not disappoint. This is how God feels; He does not expect to be disappointed especially after giving you the manual for making marriage work – the bible.
Marriage is the only institution where a certificate is issued before you even sit for the first examination – isn’t that interesting? And guess what, the certificate does not have an expiry date. Have you ever wondered why it is mandatory for you to make a vow before marriage can be contracted? The reason is simply because if you knew who your partner really is or what his tendencies are, chances are, you won’t marry him or any other man for that matter.
Marriage certificate is given to you in advance because you are expected to make the marriage work. It’s like being paid for a job that hasn’t yet been done trusting that the contractor will not disappoint. This is how God feels; He does not expect to be disappointed especially after giving you the manual for making marriage work – the bible.
Trust vs Love
In most cases, I have found out that women generally learn to trust their partners before they love them. But this is not in any way biblical as there’s no place in the bible where God asked any man to trust in man. He only tells man to trust in Him and to love one another (Proverbs 3:5, John 13:34, Ephesians 5:22,25). This is because man is prone to betrayals, but only God can never betray. The truth is, if I don’t trust you, then you cannot betray me and that way I won’t feel so hurt by you. We need to realize that God has called us to a life of love and love covers a multitude of sins. So if your emphasis is on love and not trust, it is easier to look beyond the wrongs of your partner and focus on how to make him a better person so that the work God has commissioned him for can be achieved with you by his side.
In most cases, I have found out that women generally learn to trust their partners before they love them. But this is not in any way biblical as there’s no place in the bible where God asked any man to trust in man. He only tells man to trust in Him and to love one another (Proverbs 3:5, John 13:34, Ephesians 5:22,25). This is because man is prone to betrayals, but only God can never betray. The truth is, if I don’t trust you, then you cannot betray me and that way I won’t feel so hurt by you. We need to realize that God has called us to a life of love and love covers a multitude of sins. So if your emphasis is on love and not trust, it is easier to look beyond the wrongs of your partner and focus on how to make him a better person so that the work God has commissioned him for can be achieved with you by his side.
If you look carefully at the three issues as discussed above, you will see there, the secrets to having a lasting relationship with your hubby. Know that your work is to support him and help him achieve what God has commissioned him for. This is how you will find fulfilment for yourself, because your place is in him. You should not give separation or divorce a thought at all as you are suppose to contract marriage with the will and intention of making it work. Besides, there’s no exit clause in the marriage contract. And lastly, love your husband more than you trust him. Trust is just a little piece out of the big pie of love.
Read 1st Corinthians 13 again, but this time, chew and ruminate on a verse at a time. I’m sure the Holy Spirit will enlighten you more on these things. So sisters, let’s keep our marriages strong.
For more articles on different issues of life, visit http://www.4datwoman.org
Read 1st Corinthians 13 again, but this time, chew and ruminate on a verse at a time. I’m sure the Holy Spirit will enlighten you more on these things. So sisters, let’s keep our marriages strong.
For more articles on different issues of life, visit http://www.4datwoman.org
